Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Shopping with a toddler
A not so young woman gets out of her giant SUV cute little car. She walks around to the back of her car where you assume she is going to open the passenger side back door and take out her purse. However, you hear this: NONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOO. Whatever could that be you ask yourself? Certainly not that adorable 16 month old in the carseat who is screeeeching because his hat has dropped below the acceptable level on his forehead. Cut to the store: Mom gets a cart and attempts to put child in the seat. This is a no-win situation. He will not sit in the seat when it is obvious that walking and pushing the cart is much more fun. Cue the whining.
Produce Section: Child - apppo, apppo, apppo? Mom: No, honey,we don't need apples, we already have some. Child: APPO, APPO, AAAAPPPPPOOO!! Mom: how about some bananas? Child (in his adorable shrill pitch) AAAPPPPOOOOOO! Mom: Where are the oranges? Child: Bana? (banana). OH. MY. GOD. Other patrons who once thought he was cute are now rolling their eyes at me and wondering what kind of mother I am.
Deli is next: Mom: you can look, but please don't touch the glass because other people want to see what is in there too. Child is oblivious and puts not only all 10 fingers but also nose, mouth, tongue, cheek, forehead and ear on glass. Oh I really hope they clean that thing regularly. After he is away from the glass and in the personal care aisle (we needed toothpaste), he sees it. The one thing he simply cannot live without. That's right folks a box of condoms. Why oh why do they put them on such a low shelf. He hands them to mom and screams until she puts them in the cart. Fade out...... Then your screen goes black and in big letters it says something about birth control.
So that was my exciting trip to the grocery store. Some lady did stop me and tell me what a beautiful little girl I had. I should have just said thank you and walked away, but instead I told her that he was a boy, not a girl. To which she said "really"? People are stupid sometimes.