Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Shopping with a toddler

I've decided that shopping with Baby E would be an EXCELLENT advertisement for birth control.  Picture this on your TV:
A not so young woman gets out of her giant SUV cute little car.  She walks around to the back of her car where you assume she is going to open the passenger side back door and take out her purse.  However, you hear this: NONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOO.  Whatever could that be you ask yourself?  Certainly not that adorable 16 month old in the carseat who is screeeeching because his hat has dropped below the acceptable level on his forehead.  Cut to the store:  Mom gets a cart and attempts to put child in the seat.  This is a no-win situation.  He will not sit in the seat when it is obvious that walking and pushing the cart is much more fun.  Cue the whining.
Produce Section: Child - apppo,  apppo,  apppo? Mom:  No, honey,we don't need apples, we already have some.  Child: APPO, APPO, AAAAPPPPPOOO!!  Mom: how about some bananas?  Child (in his adorable shrill pitch) AAAPPPPOOOOOO!  Mom: Where are the oranges?  Child:  Bana?   (banana).  OH. MY. GOD.  Other patrons who once thought he was cute are now rolling their eyes at me and wondering what kind of mother I am.
Deli is next:  Mom: you can look, but please don't touch the glass because other people want to see what is in there too.  Child is oblivious and puts not only all 10 fingers but also nose, mouth, tongue, cheek, forehead and ear on glass.  Oh I really hope they clean that thing regularly.  After he is away from the glass and in the personal care aisle (we needed toothpaste), he sees it.  The one thing he simply cannot live without.  That's right folks a box of condoms.  Why oh why do they put them on such a low shelf.  He hands them to mom and screams until she puts them in the cart.  Fade out...... Then your screen goes black and in big letters it says something about birth control.
So that was my exciting trip to the grocery store.  Some lady did stop me and tell me what a beautiful little girl I had.  I should have just said thank you and walked away, but instead I told her that he was a boy, not a girl.  To which she said "really"?  People are stupid sometimes.

Thursday, November 18, 2010


 Now that fall is almost over and winter is getting ready to settle in, I figured I better post a few pictures of Baby E (who is really not a baby any longer but rather a toddler, but I'm going to keep calling him my baby until another one comes along).

This is the first year he was able to get out and enjoy the fun things that autumn in Wisconsin has to offer.  We played in the leaves almost every day  - too cold to even think about playing outside right now....at least until I get him some warmer pants!

I took on the task of making his costume for Halloween this year.  I can't tell you how many times I ripped parts of it out because I suck at sewing and haven't used a pattern since 8th grade home economics class  they just didn't feel right.  I must have worked on that damn tummy panel for about 3 hours and then realized that NO ONE WOULD SEE THE FRICKIN' TUMMY  because the vest would cover it up.  Rookie mistake.  Next year he's getting something made out of cardboard.  I gotta say, though, he really was cute!
I'll post some photos from his "Fall Photo Shoot with The Cousins" next time!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Where. Have. You. Been?

Now that's a question I used to hear a lot when I was younger: "your hands are all sticky - where have you been" (um, probably eating candy behind the couch). "your hair is all wet - where have you been (most likely playing in the sprinkler). You're limping - where have you been (fell off my brother's scooter).  "It's an hour past curfew, where have you been?"  (probably 'cruising' Main Street with my best friend). But now-a-days, I've been nowhere. And it sucks. I try to leave the house at least once a day to save sanity, but that doesn't always happen. So why, you ask, haven't I been blogging? Motivation. Or lack thereof. I've been trying to find some motivation to write, but can't...Of course, I DO have stuff to write about (mostly Baby E and his achievements), but it's hard to sit down and get geared up. So I'm going to try to do this more often - by more I often I mean at least once a week - props to all you bloggers who do this everyday!
So here is some of what I've been doing lately:
Estate Sales - OMG! I didn't think it could get any better than garage sales, but then I discovered Estate sales. When grandma/grandpa/aunt/uncle die, the kids/grandkids/nieces/nephews just open the doors to the deceased person's house and put price tags on everything. This is MY kind of place. I got the BEST photo from the 1920's of a little boy crying at the bottom of the steps who looks so much like BabyE that it's uncanny. I also got a fantastic old grate that I'm currently using as a welcome mat. My favorite find, though, is my new set of fall dishes! How awesome!
Took a trip to see Jason's family in Kansas City - had a great time and was SO glad to catch up with family that we regrettably get to see so little of!

Baby E: He's getting SO big and walking all over the place. He has decided that it's MUCH better to be outside on the "wheeee" (which is what he calls the slide), than pretty much anyplace else on Earth. He also loves to brush his teeth - screams when I try to take away his toothbrush. I sit him on the counter and we brush together. He makes a hacking-type noise when I spit - pretty funny! He has also started fake sneezing. I think it's hysterical. Also, I guess he has made the life-choice to be a vegetarian (at least for now) I CAN NOT get the kid to eat meat. I just hope he's getting enough iron. He knows where is belly, legs, eyes, teeth and hair are. He also knows things like: light, picture, baby, book, Delilah (our cat) and Orange (his stuffed cat). I'm loving watching him learn, and he's awfully cute, too!
So that's where I've been. Hopefully you'll be hearing more from me, soon!